HASH SHIT SATURDAY 27TH SEPTEMBER 2008
VENUE NAOUSSA PAROS ISLAND
HARE THE BOOKMAKER
THE REASON:- ATHENS HASH HOUSE HARRIERS 30TH YEAR…..so a birthday really so, ‘hashy birthday to us, hashy birthday to us, hashy birthday Athens Ha..sh, hashy birthday to us!!
SCRIBE FIERY TW*T
No time for champagne, which apparently had all been drunk on the Full Moon Hash on the Friday, which I couldn’t make as I was WORKING ( apologies for the swear word this early in the Shit but some of us have to do it)….but a circle of respectable proportions made up of regular and irregular AHers and a few VERY irregular ones too. We also had a smattering of OLD FARTS and an extremely OLD FART and a few locals to add to the mix. All in all, for posterity, here is the naming of the attendees in order of importance, or was it alphabetically, or was age the factor? No, just the way I checked them out round the photos to make sure I didn’t miss anyone:
Shampoo George (irregular and local), Rambo ( very irregular), Spud ( oh bugger it this is too much like work again….so I won’t bother), Shiva, The Hulk (otherwise known as Pyromaniac), Fiery Twat, Cock’s Tale, Rear Entry, Absolut, Fat Controller, Kisses Anytime, Wet Dream, AirHead, Thunder Thighs, Gypsy, Oxymoron, Ancient Mariner, Budwanker, Pink Jenny, SpyShagger, Coke Dealer, Fair Cop, Hamish McTavish, Self Service, Mad Dog, and Doggy Style……..and finally not forgetting the Hare himself The Bookmaker.
Bookmaker had spent immense amounts of time and effort trying to find a decent trail, having dragged himself out of bed at 6am (still dark I can assure you) and returning the wrong side of lunch…it didn’t bode well for the chance of a flat short stroll around the shopping of Naoussa. But then that wouldn’t be his style eh?
No, what we had was a mega trail of over 10km with at least 4 Fs and as much height as Paros as a geographical event can offer. It took in all the regular island elements of pretty harbour sides and tiny shopping streets, old stone bridges and views over to Naxos …..which at one point we thought we might have reached as we hit the 90 minute mark and still the trail lead us onward! As usual I am the wrong person to write the Shit as a perennial ‘FRB’ I don’t get to see the fun and games at the back….I know I was continually told to SIT ON IT….but as the guy shouting NEVER EVER sits on it, I ignored him and kept up the pace….generally in the wrong direction however.
The spiciest titbit I can offer was when I was accosted by Spud and tempted to shortcut with him to cut out a nice long loop. I refused, saying that I had to uphold all Athens tradition and stay on blue, and that was the last I saw of him, until he waved everyone ON INN to the circle with an open can of Amstel, which was his 3rd, as he had arrived back an hour before anyone else!
If you check out the photos you can see all the pictorial highlights of the trail….I especially think the shot of the power station has all the elements needed for the Greek Tourism Board’s new CNN advertising campaign. Also possibly Maddog’s penchant for cute animal shots could accompany a rousing chorus of ‘Bestiality ‘s Best Boys’ especially the ducks just for the rhyming opportunities……
And so back at the ranch Pink Jenny and Coke Dealer had managed to get out of bed after the post prandial nap in time to wave us all in……shame about them missing the running bit….but as the Ancient Mariner always says ‘ fuck the running boys….where’s the beer’….He is still having to come to terms with women on the Athens Hash so we had to all talk in gruff voices and hide our tits (which was easier for some of us than others, as Shiva pranced down the steps to the beach for the circle and nearly gave herself a black eye) We told Ancient M that she was one of the staff and he was quite appreciative then.
Circle time, as the wind chill factor was playing havoc with the boob camouflage….Oxy’s were bigger than any of the girls anyway….and Fair Cop did a great job of involving and admonishing everyone for ever having the balls to take up hashing in the first place…..again the girls all tried a game of pocket billiards to continue pulling the wool over the AM’s eyes.
Bookmaker stepped up for the Hare DIO and gave us all best regards from Athens Hash’s Daddy Brian Gray….who really, nearly made it this time but had booked with XL holidays and they crashed into oblivion just in time to leave him stranded in blighty…..perhaps his next excuse for the 40th doesn’t need to involve the disintegration of western capitalism as we know it….Cern black hole scenario?…..Giant Meteorite hits Saffron Walden?
Awards happened to make an appearance for Fat Controller who had been stuck on 49 runs for about 10 years and who had come all the way to Paros from the UK to get his 50, and claimed an overdue 25 for his son too. Fiery finally entered the halls of fame for something other than nudity and being a pisspot that could set fire to a hotel and throw up at the same time….with a 200 badge and a bloody big pewter mug. It became a new game for the old boys to keep topping this up and seeing how many times I would empty it if they shouted DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN loud enough…..apparently they got bored after about the 7th time…..so FT on the downhill on inn to the puke bucket as usual.
Further frivolity followed as old GMs were accosted and given a DIO and Ancient Mariner was taken on as the new Athens GM, as we cannot seem to attract anyone to take up the role these days and at least he knows the words to the songs. We stripped Rambo of his poncey new running shoes (eventually). I had a bit of bother getting them off and staying upright due to a bout of inebriation sickness I had contracted from The Hulk and Spud. Fat Controller stepped up and did a visiting GM turn and SpyShagger tried to teach us all the spectacle actions to the Flying Song…..and last but not least a waddle of ducks quacked passed and that was the last we saw of Oxy for the night…..
We On On ed at a taverna and people ate food and drank alcohol and then fell asleep with their faces in their food….no that was just me…..I think??
More tomorrow as Thunder Thighs organises a bus to get us round the HangOver Hash in Marpissa!